I find it useful to think about my life as the physical expression of the person I have been. Because we change in our mind and heart at a faster rate than the physical world allows for, the life we are confronting, like a star, is an expression of the past.
It is a mirror of what we were when we began to create it.
So there is a time gap between who I am now, and what my life mirrors about me. I am dragging my old self around like an unwanted tail, wondering what if anything my life has to do with me.
Strangely enough, there is an old esoteric belief that even God is evolving, and that the negative things about the world are a result of mistakes made at an earlier state of God’s evolution. So we are in good company.
What to do about this? There seems no way forward but to patiently observe the pattern our life expresses, and slowly dismantle, shape, or reconstruct it in line with whom we have become.
Sounds a bit like Sisyphus, always confronting past selves and dealing with the repercussions of what was.
Is there another option?
There is, and that is to envision our future self, and begin to construct a life that fits the person we are in the process of becoming. In spiritual terms this is sometimes called “acting as if”. We act as if we are already the person we are becoming. This means that our life, which is created out of these actions, will be in some important way an expression of that future person, rather than of the person we are now.
I sometimes do an imageWork exercise where we step out of the body that has travelled from the past, and into a body that has come to us from the future. It is an amazing and light-filled experience. And living our life as if from that body, we will act in very new and different ways.
It’s a bit like keeping one lesson ahead of the class you are teaching.
If we do construct our lives to express our future self, there should be a moment when we have evolved sufficiently so that we really are like that “as if” person. Then we can look in the mirror of our lives and see a true reflection of who we are at that very moment.
How exciting is that?